Too Late For The Last Hurrah

Thought I’d go chase women
Find myself some girls
I know there’s plenty
It’s a big old world
But I’ve been out there and I’ve looked near and far
Guess I’m too late for the last hurrah

Tried to talk to one girl
I said “How are you, hun?”
She had tattoos all over of the moon and the sun
Said “Would you like to go and grab a bite?”
She said “Mister, are you looking for a fight?”

I’m too late for the last hurrah
Might as well be on Mars
There’s lots of pretty girls
I’m old enough to be their pa
Guess I’m too late for the last hurrah

Answered an ad
I hear that’s how people meet
I wrote to one girl she sounded so sweet
But when she saw me she went running from the bar
Guess I’m too late for the last hurrah

I’m too late for the last hurrah
Ain’t no folk singing star
There’s lots of pretty girls
I’m old enough to be their pa
Guess I’m too late for the last hurrah

Went out with the girl who gave me a colonic
Met for a drink
She had a gin and tonic
Asked if she wanted to make out in my car
She said “Sir, you’re much too late for the last hurrah”

I’m too late for the last hurrah
Might as well be on Mars
There’s lots of pretty girls
I’m old enough to be their pa
Guess I’m too late for the last hurrah

There’s a girl at the book store
She isn’t even cute
To tell you the truth
She’s a deaf mute
Asked her for a date
She mumbled “hardy har”
Guess I’m too late for the last hurrah.

I’m too late for the last hurrah
Ain’t no folk singing star
There’s lots of pretty girls
I’m old enough to be their pa
Guess I’m too late for the last hurrah
Guess I’m too late for the last hurrah